To Whom It May Concern:
First I would like to thank you for spending time on reading my writing portfolio. The five chosen articles here represent for the process of the Academic English writing Class in this semester and the progress I made through the course. We have read five stories picked from “The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction” by Ruth Spack. Through reading and analyzing my reading and writing skills are improved. Each of the five articles I submit in my portfolio concerns a story in “The International Story”: “Dead Men’s Path”, which is one of my favorite. At this point, the five articles show a clear trace of my improving writing and analyzing skill.
Though I have no need to worry about my oral English, I must confess that I am not very good at writing in English. I have affection on those classics such as “Lord of The Rings” and the poems composed by Yeats. When I read the original English version, I can taste the beautiful and elegant phrases. But I feel exhausted when calling back the memory of words I recited. Usually this would be a time-consuming job. I can feel the flow of thoughts in my mind and the idea I want to convey at the tip of my tongue. But I don’t know how to put them into words. So when writing in English, usually the words I pick are merely some plain ones. Still it drains a large part of my time. And when organizing the writing structure, sometimes my writing will slip from my topic. What is more, I always forget to use formal writing form. The main reason for my defects is that there is very little opportunity to write in English. So when provided a good chance, I do gain some improvements. And Mr Ron Corio has given me some advisable comments, which helped me a lot.
The first article is one of my reading logs of “Dead Men’s Path”. It is quite short though given unlimited time to complete it. I chose it because it clearly reveals my problems in time. The words here are plain and simple. And it is hard to grasp a main topic. More formal writing style is also required. I corrected some of the errors such as missing the quotational marks in my revision.
The third article is the first draft of my essay analyzing “Dead Men’s Path”. Words used here are not so simple as the first article. The writing form is more formal than before. Small errors are fewer now. But the body of the essay has nothing to do with the thesis statement. This article plainly shows my improvements and problem about organizing, too.
The fourth article is the second draft of my essay. Through peer review, I noticed my problems. I added some discussions between the paragraphs. But this works little. Most of the body of the draft is still independent of the thesis statement. Moreover, in order to highlight my thesis statement, I repeated the statement for too many times. This makes the draft boring. My writing form was also yet to be improved. But I have fewer small errors in this draft.
The fifth article draft is the final draft of my essay. It is much briefer than the previous two. To solve the problem of organizing, I consulted Mr Ron Coriio for advices. I cut the discussions that had little relation to the topic and add a paragraph to affirm my conclusion. This makes the structure more compact. Further more, I amended some errors of writing form such as missing the page number. Though the structure of the essay is not perfect, my organizing skill has improved. And I pay more attention to writing form now.
The second article is my final timed writing. My first timed writing is also short and plain just like my reading log. My second timed writing is much better than the first one. But Mr Ron Corio advised me to pay attention to the highlight part because I put too much effort on the first two paragraphs. The reason is that composing the first two paragraphs consumed too much time so I had very little time to work on my last paragraph. Compared with my first two timed writings, my final timed writing is better organized and expanded. The structure is clear and the highlight is emphasized on. This makes a contrast with the writings I completed at the first stage of the writing class and shows my writing skill has advanced.
Through the class I gained great experiences. The better way to improve the using skill of a language is to use it more and more frequently. Every language is of magnificent beauty. The course of studying it and using it is always full of joy.
Here I would like to give my thankfulness to my teacher, Mr Ron Corio and my peer partner. Thank you for giving me such helpful advices.
Thank you for taking time to read my portfolio. Best regards to you and hope you can understand my point of view and give me some comments. I would be grateful if you can communicate your idea with me.
Sincerely,
Geist Hu
Geist Hu
2007-6-14
Draft Three
What Is The Symbol for The Path?
Draft Three
During the evolution of human beings, our ancestors gained knowledge about the world around them and established some simple believes to explain some problems about the universe. With the waves of time beating against the shore of history, old believes were proved unscientific or even ridiculous and at the same time we get new ones. But in most cases some of those old theories have already become an inevitable part of the base of our life philosophy and what is more, a symbol for certain culture or tradition. We accept them unconsciously though we know they are unscientific. So it is hard and unilateral to simply define old believes to be superstitions.
But that is what Michael Obi did in Chinua Achebe’s story “Dead Men’s Path”. Achebe completed this story seven-year earlier than his motherland Nigeria gained her independence in 1960. British colonists have been controlling Nigeria since the turn of the twentieth century. In “Dead Men’s Path”, Obi is appointed headmaster of a local school and he has made good effort to do a great job. For a better view, he shuts an old path between the village and the burial place, known as the dead men’s path, and that finally leads to a “tribal war” (54) and Obi’s own failure. He accomplishes all he plans to do and what an enthusiastic headmaster should do except for paying respect to the local tribal religion, which is also his tribal religion. Obi is a living example of those young locals who put a faith in the modern world and care no more about their tribal culture. The path Obi has closed can be considered as a symbol for the old tradition and culture, which is abandoned but still connects our modern life with the history.
At the first time the path is mentioned, Achebe uses some special description to create an especial image of the old path. Obi sees “an old woman from the village” (53) who “hobbles right across the compound” (53) through an old path which was located in the beautifully-decorated garden. It is the first time that Obi sees the path. Nevertheless it is not Obi’s first day to work in the school compound. The path is “almost disused” (53) with some “faint signs” (53) left. Lying in the garden of beauty and new age, the path is distinct in every sense.
Achebe’s description reveals that the path does not belong to this age. The location of the path makes some senses. It connects the village shrine with the place of burial. The path is a bridge connecting the days in memory and the days we are living. It is a window to the past.
However the path is forgotten and left in a whole new world that no longer belongs to it. The surrounding environment makes it so different. The word “almost disused” (53) reveals the present state of the path. Fewer people now remember its existence, keep it and, what is the most important, respect it. We inherit our tradition from our ancestor just like the priest’s words “we follow the practices of our fathers” (54). But some well-educated youths no longer regard it as a treasure and legacy. The dialog between Obi and the priest strengthens this point. To make a reply to the priest’s request for reopening the path, Obi uses a disrespectful tone as:
“The whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs as that. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Out duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.” (54)
Obi is “satisfied” to see that all the reasons the priest can give is connected with religion and tradition. The word “satisfied” can prove that Obi pays no attention and respect to them. He is waiting for the priest to say so because he believes if he provides some “scientific” facts the priest will have no word to say and retreat. The author characterized Obi as a typical example for some young Nigerian. They pay a tribute to the modern education and western culture however they don’t care about things that concern their “out-of-date” culture any longer. It is a trend that the old will be away and the new will rise. So the fate of some old things is inevitable. The path also can’t escape from the doom of being neglected or even being abandoned.
But the path doesn’t disappear though it is confessed to be “hardly used” (53). The existence of the path is a signal, meaning the existence of Igbo culture. It still connects the days we are living in with the days of the past. Old traditions are less mentioned. Nigerian people may gain new knowledge. The priest is right. “Let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” (54) There is not a doomed fatal war between the old and the new believes. Obi could have let the path stay what it was. But he didn’t. If one wants to reject the old culture compellingly, it may reactively give you punishment. One cannot stand without base under his feet. Maybe it is hard to realize its function now but this does not mean it does not work anymore. For the villagers, although the path is hardly used, “it appears to be very important to them.” When it is shut, the villagers hold a violent protest.
The dead men’s path is a symbol for those forgotten culture and traditions. It links the village with the burial place just like the traditions link the old days with current days. It is old, disused and abandoned by today’s young people. But it is still part of theirs life. Their functions in the daily life are diminished. They themselves are forgotten. But still they are the root of our lives today. Like the old path, though hardly used, they still exist. They survived the changing world and are still playing an important role. Work Cited
Achebe, Chinua. “Dead Men’s Path” 1953. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction. Ruth Spack. New York: St. Martin’s, 1994. 6-8.
Geist Hu
2007-5-16
Draft One
What Is The Symbol for The Path?
Draft Two
During the evolution of human being, our ancestors gain knowledge about the world around them and establish some simple believes to explain some problems about the universe. With the waves of time beat against the shore of history, old believes were proved unscientific or even ridiculous and at the same time we get new ones. But in most cases some of those old theories have already become an inevitable part of the base of our life philosophy and what is more, a symbol for certain culture or tradition. We accept them unconsciously though we know they are unscientific. So it is hard and unilateral to simply define old believes to be superstition.
But that is what Michael Obi did in Chinua Achebe’s story “Dead Men’s Path”. Achebe completed this story seven years earlier than his motherland Nigeria gained her independence in 1960 and he witnessed how Christianity weakened the tribal affiliations. British colonists had been controlling Nigeria since the turn of the twentieth century. Western education and Christianity began to dominate young locals’ thoughts and that led to their oblivion of Igbo culture. Michael Obi is one of these young locals. In “Dead Men’s Path”, Obi is appointed headmaster of a local school and he has made good effort to decorate the school. For a better view, he shuts an old path between the village and the burial place, known as the dead men’s path, and that finally leads to a “tribal war” and Obi’s own failure. He has accomplished all he planed to do and what an enthusiastic headmaster should do except for paying respect to the local tribal religion, which is also his tribal religion. Obi is a living example of those young locals who put a faith in the modern world and care no more about their tribal culture. The path Obi has closed can be considered as a symbol for the old tradition and culture, which is abandoned but still connects our modern life with the history.
At the first time the path is mentioned, Achebe used some special description to create an especial image of the old path. When Obi “was admiring his work”, “an old woman from the village hobble right across the compound, through a marigold flower-bed and the hedges.” It is the first time that Obi sees the path, and the path is “almost disued” with some “faint signs” left. Nevertheless it is not Obi’s first day to work in the school compound. From this scene, the image of the path were as if right in front of readers’ eyes. Lying in the garden of beauty and new age, the path is distinct in every sense. Built in the days of our father but forgotten by moderns like Obi, it is old and ugly. No one pay attention to it anymore. Only old people remenber it’s existence.
Achebe’s description reveals that the path does not belong to this age. The surrounding world makes it so diffirent. The location of the path also make some sences. It connects the village shrine with the place of burial. The path is a bridge connecting the days in memory and the days we are living. Hence we can conclude that the path is given some attributes old tradition and culture.
Obi’s finding of the path makes him feel “simply incredible”. In his mind, things as old and ugly like this should not exist in this beautiful new world. It is without any doubt that a young Nigerian, who is educated in modern methods would think so. Michael Obi is a reflection for the “new-styled” young Nigerian. According to the author, Obi is enthusiastic, clever and hard-working just like most of the young man of that age. Achebe presented that at the beginning of the story using words as “He had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice.” Even his young and unmarried colleagues can make him full of joy because “They will give all their time and energy to the school.” As the author mentioned the school, we can see that “Mr Obi put his whole life into the work.” Obi is ambitious but this is not the reason for his failure. Even “his passion for modern methods” is not, either. He looses everything because of his wrong attitude towards some old views. In the story, Obi “was outspoken in his condemnation of the narrow views of these older and often less-educated ones.” And has “a denigration of these old and superannuated people in the teaching field who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market.’” When another teacher tells him about the path, Obi’s reply is “the villagers might, for all I know, decide to use the schoolroom for a pagan ritual”. It clearly reveals his attitude towards tribal religion. We can grasp his character easily from the story. The author characterized Obi as an typical example for some young Nigerian. They pay a tribute to the modern education and methods however they debase all the old things. Achebe created Obi because he did want to arise something in readers’ mind and he reached his goal.
With the story going on, it is undoubtedly that the dead men’s path will be closed, though for Obi that people crossing the path can destroy the garden could be another but unimportant reason. Youths no longer regard it as a treasure and legacy. For them the path is a leftover of the old days that only exist in fairy tales. But elderers keep it and regard it as a symbol for the circle of life and that is essential element of spirit and nature just like what the priest says “The whole life of this village depends on it. Our dead relatives depart by it and our ancestors visit us by it.” “It is the path of children coming in to be born”. The dialog between Obi and the priest strengthens this point. To make a reply to the priest’s request, Obi uses a disrespectful tone as:
“The whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs as that. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Out duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.”
Obi is “satisfied” to see that all the reasons the priest can give is connected with religion and tradition. The word “satisfied” can prove that Obi pays no attention and respect to them. He is waiting for the priest to say so because he knows if he provides some “scientific” facts the priest will have no word to say and retreat. Christianity and western education dominate his mind. Christianity is another important fact of the vanishing of some tribal culture. At first it is a dominating method, colonists force tribal people to reject their “barbaric” religion and accept Christianity so they can gain better control of this region by using laws in Bible. Generation after generation tribal people accept it as a matter of fact as if the old tribal religion had never existed. Despite some benefiting part, the compelling acceptance of Christianity does give a deadly blow to the cultural diversity.
So the path is closed. So when a young woman dies the villagers attribute the death to Obi’s closing the path. So Obi’s dreams are all ruined. The path is the key to all the conflicts in the story. We inherit the tradition from our ancestor just like the priest’s words “we follow the practices of our fathers”. And we formed our culture then culture founded our life styles. At the same time, new views and methods appear, and old traditions disappear. The path is a symbol for those dying traditions. It can be backdated to the days of our father. It links the village with the burial place just like the traditions link the old days with current days. It is old, disused and abandoned by the young people. But it is still part of theirs life.
It is a trend that the old will be away and the new will rise. So the fate of some old traditions is inevitable. The path is confessed to be “hardly used”, too. But the path doesn’t disappear. The “tribal war” will not happen if Obi just le it be. He could have let it stay what it was. But he didn’t. The new styles of life are good, but we can never debase or ignore the old ones to glorify the new ones. The priest is right. “Let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” There is not a doomed fatal war between the old and the new believes. Either of them can work. Have passion for one but at the same time pay respect to another. If one wants to reject the old one compellingly, it may reactively give you punishment. The closing of the path does teach Obi an unforgettable lesson. Maybe one of Achebe’s intentions of writing the novel to give a lesson for those young Nigerian through telling the story.
What is more, the path here also could be regarded as a symbol of the Nigerian tribal culture. British viewed the Igbo culture and beliefs as inferior and barbaric just like Obi does. Missionaries introduced Christianity to Nigerian people so more and more Nigerian were converted to Christianity, which may lead to the disaggregation of the local religion. The destruction of religion could be the last straw for the Igbo people who have been always enduring the British for fifty years. Achebe might convey this emotion through the story.
“Dead Men’s Path” contains much information about Nigeria, culture and culture conflicts. Achebe characterized Michael Obi, who can represent for some young Nigerian, to convey his own thoughts and emotion. There is no real ending for Michael Obi or the path. But we can guess: Obi should learn a thing or two. The path may be rebuilt. The existence of the path is a signal, meaning the existence of Igbo culture. Old traditions are less mentioned. Igbo people can gain new knowledge, But it simply reveals that the Igbo culture is still living. Within time there is change. Igbo culture is changing, developing but not dying. And the Igbo people will never let it die.
Geist Hu
2007-5-5
Draft One
What Is The Symbol for The Path?
Draft One
During the evolution of human being, our ancestors gain knowledge about the world around them and establish some simple believes to explain some problems about the universe. With the waves of time beat against the shore of history, old believes were proved unscientific or even ridiculous and at the same time we get new ones. But in most cases some of those old theories have already become an inevitable part of the base of our life philosophy and what is more, a symbol for certain culture or tradition. We accept them unconsciously though we know they are unscientific. So it is hard and unilateral to simply define old believes to be superstition.
But that is what Michael Obi did in Chinua Achebe’s story “Dead Men’s Path”. Achebe completed this story seven years earlier than his motherland Nigeria gained her independence in 1960 and he witnessed how Christianity weakened the tribal affiliations. British colonists had been controlling Nigeria since the turn of the twentieth century. Western education and Christianity began to dominate young locals’ thoughts and that led to their oblivion of Igbo culture. Michael Obi is one of these young locals. He shuts an old path between the village and the burial place, known as the dead men’s path, and that finally leads to a “tribal war” and Obi’s own failure. He has accomplished all he planed to do and what an enthusiastic headmaster should do except for paying respect to the local tribal religion, which is also his tribal religion. The path here can be considered as a symbol for the old tradition and culture, which connects our modern life with the history. The new styles of life are good, but we can never debase or ignore the old ones to glorify the new ones.
Michael Obi is undoubtedly enthusiastic, clever and hard-working. Achebe presented that at the beginning of the story as “He had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice.” Even his young and unmarried colleagues can make him full of joy because “They will give all their time and energy to the school.” When the author mentioned the school, we can see that “Mr Obi put his whole life into the work.”
Obi is ambitious and this is not the reason for his failure. Even “his passion for modern methods” is not, either. He looses everything because of his wrong attitude towards some old views. According to the story, Obi “was outspoken in his condemnation of the narrow views of these older and often less-educated ones.” And has “a denigration of these old and superannuated people in the teaching field who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market.’” Achebe characterized Obi as an ambitious young man. He pays a tribute to the modern education and methods. But he debases all the old things. We can grasp his image easily from the story.
So it is without any doubt that Obi will close the dead men’s path, though that people crossing the path can destroy the garden could be another but unimportant reason. When another teacher tells him about the path, Obi’s reply is “the villagers might, for all I know, decide to use the schoolroom for a pagan ritual”. It clearly reveals his attitude towards tribal religion. The dialog between Obi and the priest strengthens this point. To answer the priest’s question, Obi uses a disrespectful tone as:
“The whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs as that. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Out duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.”
Obi is “satisfied” to see that all the reasons the priest can give is connected with religion and tradition. The word “satisfied” can prove that Obi pays no attention and respect to them. He is waiting for the priest to say so because he knows if he provides some “scientific” facts the priest will have no word to say. Christianity and western education dominate his mind. Obi can be regarded as a representation of those young people who reject their tribal religion and tradition.
So the path is closed. So when a young woman dies the villagers attribute the death to Obi’s closing the path. So Obi’s dreams are all ruined. The path is the key to all the conflicts in the story. We inherit the tradition from our ancestor just like the priest’s words “we follow the practices of our fathers”. And we formed our culture then culture founded our life styles. At the same time, new views and methods appear, and old traditions disappear. The path is a symbol for those dying traditions. It can be backdated to the days of our father. It links the village with the burial place just like the traditions link the old days with current days. It is old, disused and abandoned by the young people. But it is still part of theirs life.
It is a trend that the old will be away and the new will rise. So the fate of some old traditions is inevitable. The path is confessed to be “hardly used”, too. But the path doesn’t disappear. The “tribal war” will not happen if Obi just le it be. He could have let it stay what it was. But he didn’t. The priest is right. “Let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” There is not a doomed fatal war between the old and the new believes. Either of them can work. Have passion for one but at the same time pay respect to another. If you want to reject the old one compellingly, it may reactively give you punishment. The closing of the path does teach Obi an unforgettable lesson.
What is more, the path here also could be regarded as a symbol of the Nigerian tribal culture. British viewed the Igbo culture and beliefs as inferior and barbaric just like Obi does. Missionaries introduced Christianity to Nigerian people so more and more Nigerian were converted to Christianity, which may lead to the disaggregation of the local religion. The destruction of religion could be the last straw for the Igbo people who have been always enduring the British for fifty years. Achebe might convey this emotion through the story.
“Dead Men’s Path” contains much information about Nigeria, culture and culture conflicts. Achebe characterized Michael Obi, who can represent for some young Nigerian, to convey his own thoughts and emotion. There is no real ending for Michael Obi or the path. But we can guess: Obi should learn a thing or two. The path may be rebuilt. The existence of the path is a signal, meaning the existence of Igbo culture. Old traditions are less mentioned. Igbo people can gain new knowledge, But it simply reveals that the Igbo culture is still living. Within time there is change. Igbo culture is changing, developing but not dying. And the Igbo people will never let it die.
0522073
Geist Hu
2007-6-21
Timed Writing Three
Directions: If you were to create a filmed advertisement (a “trailer”）for a movie based on The Grass-Eaters, which scene would you select? Why? Discuss ways in which you might film the scene. (100%)
If I were asked to design a trailer for a movie based on The Grass-Eaters, I would select the scene at the end of the story: Ajit Babu’s “house” made by coal tar drums, the grass they eat, a woman dropping her baby near the street and a burning tar drum. Because when I read this paragraph it appealed me so much. The paragraph contains no more than three hundred words but every letter, every word and every sentence hides something that moves the reader. It looks as if there were no end for the story. And the tone describing this scene is without anxiety or sadness. But every kind of emotion silently grows in the reader’s heart. The end of the story must have left a great impact on everyone who has read The Grass Eater. So I think the audience who might watch the trailer designed on this scene would also be appealed.
First I would like to focus on Ajit Babu and his wife, who are collecting grass for food. I may leave a few seconds on shooting the grass, their hands and then their faces or even sweat on their faces. Then I will pull the camera to make a full vision of them, working in front of their “home”. With the camera pulled, the full vision of their “home” would also be filmed, and then the ruined street, the burning coal tar drums and the woman who drops her baby. Finally, I will gradually pull up the camera. At last the image of Ajit Babu fades into the daylight. In the scene there is only the grey sky with few loose clouds. The title of the film “The Grass Eater” quietly emerged from the clouds. I want to keep the silent atmosphere in the original novel so I do not want to add a dialog or something like that. Everything will be left for the audience to taste and think.
About the theme music that may be called for, Maybe I may pick up some Indian local music for the trailer. Because this is a story about an ordinary Indian’s life experience. Maybe the best way to decorate the trailer is use some ordinary Indian local music. One of the things that draw my attention when I read the novel is that the author didn’t use a word that reveals his sadness. Moreover he uses a bright and humorous tone. But in the movie I cannot use music with light tune. Theme music in a film plays an important role. It forms the base tone for the movie. The Grass-Eater is a sad story no matter how humorous the tone (in the film this would be lyrics) is. But a colorful and light music is sure to destroy the atmosphere. And, as I have mentioned, I don’t want to express too much through the trailer but I want to hide the meaning that I want to convey in the trailer. So an ordinary but not-so-bright Indian local music is enough. The rest is for the audience.
To read The Grass Eater, one must read between the lines. So I think the best trailer for a film based on this story should also appeals the audience to “watch between the scenes”. That is also my goal if I were asked to design such a trailer.
FROM: Geist Hu (04/04/07 8:09 AM GMT -06:00)
SUBJECT: My reading log for Dead Men's Path
What amazed me the most after reading "Dead Men's Path" is the way the conflict is solved finally. It seemed that the story hadn't ended yet but when I checked the following page, which tells the ending of another story, I found out that all the problems were "solved" though no conclusion to the conflict was made.
I believe the conflict in the story is more a crash between new believes and tradition than a generation gap. Obi stands for people in the new age who can get good education and become a little bit skeptical. To them some old tradition is part of superstition so it's time to tear those old belives down just like Obi plans to do. He regards their traditional ceremony as "pagan ritual". He made up his mind to "eradicate such beliefs" such as that dead men can return to their home .But finally his dream garden is destroyed by the angry "uncivilized" villigers.
It's hard to define Obi's belief right or wrong just like we can't tell whether theism (or atheism) is good or bad. Obi's religion is not only Christianity but also science. He makes a fetish of science and ignores the traditions. In my opinion, that's the main reason for his failure.
People living in today's shifting world should learn to gain new knowledge and pay respect to tradition at the same time. Knowledge can make a better life but tradition is the base of our lifestyle and lifestyle philosophy. Or we may end up just like unlucky Obi.